The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Pete Hegseth be parleyin' with the Senate scallywags, seekin' their vote 'fore the storm o' scandal brews!

2024-11-21

Arrr, ye be listenin'! Former Fox News scallywag Pete Hegseth, Trump’s chosen matey for the defense, parleyed with senators on the Hill, while gossip swirled 'bout a rum-fueled misadventure from 2017. With Vice President-elect JD Vance at his side, they be huntin’ for Republican favor, savvy?

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer I bring ye news from the treacherous seas of Capitol Hill! Our former Fox News buccaneer, Pete Hegseth, be the chosen one by the illustrious Donald Trump to take on the mighty role of defense secretary. But lo! As he parleyed with the senators, a dark cloud be lurking overhead, whisperin’ tales of a troublesome incident from 2017—an alleged act of sexual assault, no less! Arrr, be it a stormy sea ahead for this landlubber?

Fear not, fer he didn’t sail alone! He had the steadfast First Mate, Vice President-elect JD Vance, a senator hailing from the fair state of Ohio, by his side. Together, they plotted their course, seeking the hearty support of their fellow Republican senators to secure Hegseth’s fate in this perilous nomination. Aye, at the age of 44, the swashbucklin' Army veteran, who braved the sands of Iraq, be lookin' to conquer the seas of political power!

Read the Original Article