Arrr! The constables' scrolls spill secrets 'bout Pete Hegseth's scuffle, matey! A jolly tale o' ruckus on the high seas!
2024-11-21
Arrr, a ruckus from 2017 be spillin' forth! Pete Hegseth, a scallywag once of Fox News, be accused of keepin' a lass trapped in a cabin, swipin' her magic phone before their "consensual" frolic. Why, he claims no wrongdoings, but the seas be murky, matey!
Arrr matey, gather 'round fer a tale of the high seas o' scandal! In the year o' our Lord 2017, a newly unveiled scroll from the lawmen be spillin' the beans 'bout one Pete Hegseth, a scallywag who once graced the decks o' Fox News and had his eye on the shiny title of secretary o' defense, aye!According to the report, this rogue be accused of blockin' a fair lass from escapin' his chamber and abscondin' with her spyglass, or as ye landlubbers call it, her phone. The encounter, which he be denyin', was said to be as consensual as a pirate's agreement over rum, but the lady be singin' a different tune!
At the tender age of 44, Hegseth, handpicked by the captain o' the ship, President-elect Donald Trump, be standin' firm in his claim of innocence, shoutin' from the crow’s nest that all was above board. But the winds o’ controversy be blowin’ fierce, and this tale of derring-do be far from the end. So hoist the Jolly Roger and keep a weather eye on this squall, fer the truth be as slippery as a fish on a deck!