The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Greg Schiano be defendin’ a timeout that sent our crew to Davy Jones’ locker on Senior Day, savvy?

2024-11-23

Arrr, Captain Schiano be callin' a timeout, givin' the Illinois scallywags a peek at the treasure they nearly missed! With that chance to measure the distance, they sailed their offense straight to victory, leavin' the Rutgers crew to swab the deck in defeat! Har har har!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer a tale of woe on the gridiron! 'Twas a fateful Saturday when Rutgers’ captain, Coach Greg Schiano, did call a timeout just afore the Illinois kicker, Ethan Moczulski, attempted a mighty 58-yard boot. The score stood at 31-30 in favor o’ Rutgers, and the kick sailed wide left, but alas! Schiano’s interruption gave the enemy a second chance, allowing Coach Bret Bielema to catch the wind’s fancy from the sidelines.

With a change o' heart, Bielema sent his crew back onto the field, and they snagged victory from the jaws of defeat with a glorious 40-yard catch by Pat Bryant! The final score? A heart-thumping 38-31 in favor of Illinois. Schiano faced the crew's ire, lamentin’ his decision as one of the season's most notorious blunders, wishin’ he’d kept his ship quiet.

“I said I’d not regret it if it worked,” he grumbled, “but ah, the winds of fate be fickle!” With only 12 seconds to make a call, he defended his choice, insistin’ he aimed for glory, not defeat. Aye, the lads fought valiantly, but as the old sea saying goes, ye can't always sail the ship where ye want it to go!

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