The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Jason Kelce be guzzlin’ grog like a true scallywag at the Appalachian State shindig, aye!

2024-11-23

Arrr, matey! Jason Kelce, that scallywag, be showin’ off his swashbucklin’ skills once more! Fore the App State battle with James Madison, he downed grog like a true buccaneer and bantered with landlubbers like a jolly rogue! Avast, what a merry sight!

Arrr, gather 'round me hearties! The famed Jason Kelce, once a mighty warrior of the NFL seas, sailed his way to Boone, North Carolina, to witness the Appalachian State Mountaineers do battle with the James Madison Dukes. With a hearty cheer, the Mountaineers seized victory, 34 to 20, and now be on the cusp of a glorious bowl eligibility, like treasure awaiting discovery!

Before the clash, our jolly captain Kelce docked at the tailgate, chugging grog and serenading the landlubbers with his karaoke skills. Aye, this retired center of the Philadelphia Eagles proved he be a jolly good fellow, snapping photos with fans aplenty before striding into Kidd Brewer Stadium like a true sea captain!

In other news, our Jason recently graduated from the University of Cincinnati, where his brother Travis celebrated by downing a frothy brew upon receiving his diploma, belting out the tunes of the Beastie Boys. Talk about a rowdy crew! But alas, not all be smooth sailing, as Jason faced a bit of a tempest with an angry fan over autographs, calm as a sea breeze despite the ruckus.

So hoist the sails and raise a tankard to the ever-adventurous Kelce brothers, who navigate this world of fame and football like true scallywags of the high seas!

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