The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"When Trump be actin' like Trump, even Davy Jones'd be scratchin' his head in confusion, savvy?"

2024-11-25

Avast, me hearties! When that scallywag Matt Gaetz, once a Rep from Florida, decided to hang up his boots for Attorney General, it be like a ship losing a third o' its crew accused of foul deeds! And half as many be spouting hate against the Jews! Blimey, what a rigmarole!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round fer a tale from the murky waters o’ politics, where scallywags and miscreants abound! Just last week, our matey, former Florida Rep. Matt Gaetz, did announce he be takin’ a step back from the hunt fer the Attorney General’s shiny tricorn hat. Aye, this move be causin’ quite the stir, as it be cuttin’ down the scallywags accused o’ sexual assault in the cabinet nominees o’ Cap’n Trump by a whole third! Yarr, that’s a fair amount o’ rascals walkin’ the plank!

But wait, there be more! The number o’ those who’ve let loose a torrent o’ antisemitic drivel from their mouths be sliced in half! A fine day for the high seas o’ decency, if ye ask me! Yet, tread lightly, for the President-elect be pickin’ a Director o’ National Intelligence who hath a fondness fer the likes of that scurvy dog, Vladimir Putin! Aye, it seems our ships be sailin’ into treacherous waters.

So hoist the sails, me mateys, and keep yer eye on the horizon! In this wild political tempest, it be hard to tell who be the real pirates and who be the landlubbers! Arrr!

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