Arrr, Alex Jones be settin' sail to thwart The Onion's plunderin' o' InfoWars, but the jesters be laughin'!
2024-11-26
Arrr, matey! A judge o' the federal seas be ponderin' ol' Alex Jones's plea to stop The Onion from makin' his InfoWars a jestin' treasure! The Onion be claimin' victory at a rigged auction, and now the judge be callin' a parley to weigh the scallywag's grumblin's! Har har har!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round fer a tale of one Alex Jones, a scallywag of a conspiracy theorist, who be tryin’ to fend off a most peculiar takeover! Aye, it seems that the notorious satirical crew at The Onion be settin’ their sights on his ship, InfoWars, to turn it into a jolly jest o’ its former self! Arrr!On the 14th day of November, the swabs at The Onion declared they’d snatched up Jones’s vessel in a bankruptcy auction, but lo and behold, our blubberin’ captain be shoutin’ foul! He claims the auction be rigged, like a ship with a hole in its hull! Now, a wise judge by the name o’ Christopher Lopez in Houston be listenin’ to Jones’s grumblin’ and has paused The Onion’s bid. Aye, a court hearing be on the horizon, where the judge will weigh the concerns o’ our dear captain o’ chaos.
So, me hearties, stay tuned as this hullabaloo unfolds! Will Jones keep his ship from bein' turned into a merry mockery, or shall he watch it sail into the sunset, transformed into a rollickin’ parody? Only the tides of justice will tell! Yarrr!