The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Bay Area swindlers locked in the brig fer pilferin' $55M in mortgage booty! Avast, mateys!"

2024-11-26

Arrr, a scallywag broker from San Fran and his mateys be caught fibbin’ about treasure chests, inflatin’ their gold to swindle lenders! Judge Breyer sent the captain Buditaslim to Davy Jones’ locker for two years, while the other two mateys face the music for a spell. Aye, what a merry mess!

Arrr mateys! Gather ‘round and lend me yer ears for a tale of treachery on the high seas o’ real estate! Once sailed the Shark-infested waters of San Francisco, a scallywag known as Tjoman Buditaslim, a broker with a heart as black as a pirate’s flag! This crafty knave, along with his two trusty aides, decided to concoct a dastardly scheme to bamboozle the good folk lookin’ to buy their own ships… er, homes.

By trickery, they inflated the sailors’ incomes on parchment, makin’ it seem as if they had gold aplenty to qualify for loans. But alas, the law caught wind of their nefarious deeds! On a fateful Tuesday, they were sentenced by the mighty U.S. District Judge Charles Breyer. Tjoman found himself sentenced to two long years in the brig, whilst his matey, Jose De Jesus Martinez, faced a lesser fate of 14 months. And don’t forget the young scallywag, Jose Alfonso Tellez, who’s got some time to think on his misdeeds as well!

In the end, these swindlers were ordered to cough up a treasure of more than $3 million. So let this be a lesson to ye, landlubbers: No matter how deep yer pockets be, the truth will always surface like a shipwreck on the ocean floor!

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