The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! FBI be sayin' threats be flyin' like cannonballs at Trump’s crew, seekin' to rattle their timbers!

2024-11-28

Arrr! The Foul Bureau of Investigation be sayin’ that a heap o’ scallywags be threatenin’ the crew of President-elect Trump’s ship! His mates be quakin’ in their boots, facin’ death threats ‘n’ such. A right ruckus it be, but the number o’ targets be shrouded in mystery, savvy?

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer a tale of treach'ry and tempest on the high seas of politics! The scallywags at the FBI be spillin' the beans that there be a storm brewin' o’er the heads of them fine folk chosen by the soon-to-be captain, Donald Trump! Aye, it seems that “numerous bomb threats and swattin’ incidents” be rainin’ down like cannon fire upon the crew of his Cabinet, threatenin’ their peace and plunder!

The Trump crew be lettin’ it be known that on the dark nights of Tuesday and Wednesday, many o’ his chosen mates be feelin’ the chill of fear, with threats to their very lives and the lives of their kin. By the beard of Neptune, they be keepin’ quiet on how many brave souls be caught in this wicked net, but ye can bet yer doubloons that they be wishin’ fer calmer waters!

So, hoist the sails and prepare to weather this storm, for in the land of politics, danger lurks like a sea serpent awaitin’ to strike! Aye, ‘tis a mad world where even the finest of shipmates can be under threat from the shadows! Keep yer wits about ye, lest ye be swatted like a pesky fly on a summer’s day!

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