The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, a wee lad weepin' at the border on Thanksgiving, left by scallywags! A feast for the heart, eh?"

2024-11-29

Arrr, matey! A wee lad of ten was plucked from the clutches of despair by Texas troopers on Thanksgiving, left high and dry by scallywag smugglers! This tiny sailor from El Salvador, armed with naught but a cell phone, wept for his kin across the border. Aye, what a tale!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer this tale of a wee lad, not much more than a scallywag of ten summers, who found himself in a right pickle on Thanksgivin' Day! Aye, this young lad hails from the far-off shores of El Salvador, and he be crossin' the mighty border of the U.S. o' A. all on his lonesome, thinkin' he be on a grand adventure.

But lo and behold! The scurvy smugglers, those treacherous bilge rats, abandoned him in a desolate stretch o' land in Maverick County, Texas. With naught but a tiny cell phone for company, the lad was lost and forlorn, like a ship without a compass, lookin' fer his dear old mum and dad who had sailed ahead to these shores. He wept like a babe in the rough seas, tellin' the gallant Texas State Troopers of his plight.

The brave troopers, bless their hearty souls, swooped in like a band of merry buccaneers and rescued the lad from his dire straits. Aye, they’ll see to it that he finds his family, and mayhap he’ll be tellin’ tales of his adventures with swashbucklin’ charm in no time! So raise a tankard to the troopers and the wee lad, for the seas be kinder today!

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