Arrr, Michigan scallywags be laughin' at VP Vance, whose Buckeyes be sunk like a ship in a storm!
2024-11-30
Arrr, matey! Vice President-elect JD Vance be shoutin’ from the crow’s nest o’ X, claimin’ Ohio State be playin’ like true sea dogs, even after they got their compass spun by Michigan! Aye, he be proud o’ 'em, even if they slipped on the barnacles!
Ahoy, me hearties! Vice President-elect JD Vance be raisin’ a toast to his beleaguered Ohio State Buckeyes after they met with a most shameful defeat at the hands of the dastardly Michigan crew! Aye, the internet scallywags had a field day, takin’ jabs at our good Vance’s loyalty to the crew who played like landlubbers despite bein’ favored by 21 points!"Fear not, Buckeye mates!" Vance proclaimed, though the poor lads have now lost four times to their rivals. Methinks he be a bit too optimistic, for Michigan stumbled into the battle with a paltry record of 6-5, yet still sent the Buckeyes to Davy Jones’ locker! And what’s this? After the final whistle, a brawl erupted like cannonfire, with players settin’ sail for skirmishes instead of sportsmanship!
With officers wieldin’ sprays to quell the ruckus, Vance’s pride be met with jeers as fans called for his head on a pike! “Ohio State be rubbish, and so be ye!” they cried. Even a Michigan lad lamented the shame of such a skirmish, callin’ it "bad fer the sport." Alas, it be a bitter pill for Vance, whose Buckeyes be now adrift in playoff uncertainty! So hoist the sails and prepare for the next battle, me mateys! Arrr!