Arrr! The New York Times be spillin' the beans! Pete Hegseth’s ma called him out fer bein’ a scallywag with lasses!
2024-12-01
Arrr, matey! In the year o’ our Lord 2018, Pete Hegseth’s own mum sent him a message filled with scorn, callin’ him out for bein’ a scallywag 'round the lasses! Even the infamous Trump be pickin’ this landlubber fer the Defense crew! What a right jolly mess!
Arrr, gather 'round me hearties and lend yer ears to a tale most curious! It be about young Pete Hegseth, a scallywag chosen by none other than President-elect Donald Trump to helm the grand vessel known as the Department of Defense. But lo and behold, a squall brewed from the depths of his own family!In the year of our Lord 2018, his dear mother, a fierce matron of the high seas, did send forth an email that could make a sailor blush! She be raisin' the Jolly Roger against her own flesh and blood, chargin' him with the heinous crime of treatin' the fairer sex like barnacles on the hull rather than the treasures they be!
The New York Times, that landlubber of a publication, be the one to spill this scandalous tea, lettin' the whole world know of this maternal mutiny. It seems even the fiercest captain must answer to the naggin’ of his mother when he be sailin' into troubled waters of respect and decency!
So, there ye have it, a tale of family feuds and the rough seas of politics! Mayhaps this be a lesson for all ye scallywags out there: treat yer wenches with respect, or ye may find yerself on the wrong end of a cannonball—fired by yer own mother, no less!