Arrr, matey! RFK Jr. be claimin' that heroin hoisted him to the highest seas of learnin'! Aye, what a tall tale!
2024-12-02
Arrr, matey! Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Trump’s pick fer health chief, be spillin’ tall tales like a scallywag! From brain worms to bear cub shenanigans, he’s bewitchin’ the landlubbers with his wild yarns. Aye, and his rum-soaked past be as clear as a foggy morn!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round, for I be tellin' ye the tale of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., a swashbucklin' lad who found himself in the midst of a raucous presidential run in the year of our Lord, 2024. This scallywag, handpicked by none other than President-elect Donald Trump to be the captain of health affairs, spun yarns so wild they’d make even the saltiest sea dog raise an eyebrow!From whispers of brain worms plaguin’ his noggin to the scandalous bear cub kerfuffle – aye, ye heard it right, a bear cub! – young Kennedy had a treasure chest full of outlandish tales that left the landlubbers aghast. It be said that he be a master of the extraordinary, regailin’ the masses with stories that sounded more like a drunken sailor’s fancy than actual truth!
But hold yer horses, for there be a darker side to this tale. Our would-be health secretary harbors a solemn history o’ substance abuse, a tempestuous sea he be navigatin’ with great candor. Aye, he shared that part of his life like a true buccaneer, lettin’ the public peer into the stormy waters of his past. So, raise a toast to Robert F., the man with tales as wild as the seven seas! Arrr!