The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

“Arrr, the Falcons be decidin’ their captain while Cousins flounders like a fish in a barrel! Har har!”

2024-12-02

Avast ye! After ol’ Kirk Cousins tossed the ball away like a scallywag, the crafty Captain Raheem Morris be makin' his choice for a new gunner come Week 14. Arrr, let’s see if this new matey can keep the ship afloat!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the high seas of the NFL, where the Atlanta Falcons be sailin' through stormy waters. In April's draft, they picked a young buccaneer, a quarterback by the name of Michael Penix Jr., yet they be holdin' tight to their veteran, Kirk Cousins, despite him takin' on a mighty rough tide with four interceptions in a recent clash against the Los Angeles Chargers.

Cap'n Raheem Morris, the fearless leader of the Falcons, be standin' firm by Cousins, sayin', “Nay, we shan't be castin' him adrift!” even as their ship sways with three losses in a row. Thankfully, the NFC South be as weak as a shipwrecked rowboat, leavin' the Falcons tied for first place with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, like two scallywags fightin' over the last piece of treasure.

Though the seas be rough, they still have five games on the horizon, and the question of whether to swap their captain arises. But Morris quashes that mutiny, proclaimin' Cousins as their stalwart, despite the cannon fire of interceptions and no touchdowns in the past three battles. As Cousins readies for a "revenge game" against his former crew, young Penix continues to learn the ropes from the seasoned sailor. Arrr, may the winds be at their backs in the perils to come!

Read the Original Article