The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Adam and Christian be chattin' 'bout Pure Plank, sayin' it be breathin' new life into their scurvy souls!

2024-12-04

Arrr, matey! Adam Copeland and his matey Christian Cage, known to landlubbers as Jay Reso, be havin' a grand ol' time cookin' up Pure Plank! They had a chinwag with Fox News Digital 'bout their swashbucklin’ gear. Hoist the sails, 'tis a jolly venture!

Arrr, matey! Adam and Christian be chattin' 'bout Pure Plank, sayin' it be breathin' new life into their scurvy souls!

Ahoy, matey! Gather 'round for a tale of two old sea dogs o' the wrestling ring, Adam Copeland and Christian Cage, who’ve seen better days than when they ruled the high seas as champions! Aye, both lads be 51 and feelin' like barnacles on a ship’s hull, what with neck and leg injuries givin' 'em a right good thrashin’!

These scallywags, long-time mates, set sail on a new venture called Pure Plank, claimin' to make the planking experience as comfy as a captain's chair! Copeland be realizin’ he’s not as spry as a young lad when he could barely haul his kids up a flight of stairs without feelin' like he’d wrestled a kraken! He thought, “Blimey! Time to whip this old sea-dog body into shape!”

Meanwhile, Cage, sweat drippin’ like a leaky ship, couldn’t hold a plank for thirty seconds! Aye, the embarrassment struck like a cannonball! But he turned that shame into obsession, planking every day like it was treasure, and soon enough, he had a six-pack that’d make any pirate proud! Thus, they found their way back to the ring, fitter and ready to plunder glory once more! Arrr, who knew planking could lead to such grand adventures?!

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