The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! The judge be laughin' at the captain's whinin' 'bout unfair tides in the Hunter tax seas!

2024-12-04

Arrr, matey! The federal captain judge be callin’ out the President's tall tales ‘bout his scallywag son! Judge Scarsi be sayin' the ol’ man’s pardon claim be as fishy as a barrel o’ rotten herring, clashin' with the court’s own logs. So much for fair winds, eh?

Arrr, me hearties! Gather ‘round, for I’ve got a tale of a scallywag named Hunter Biden and his ol' sea dog of a father, President Biden. Aye, in the court of law, where justice be served like grog at a tavern, there be a mighty clash of words! Judge Mark Scarsi, the captain of this legal ship, let loose a mighty thunderin' rebuke upon the claims of the president that his son be sufferin' an unfair keel-haulin'.

In a most spirited declaration, the judge declared that the president's claims of a pardon fit like a barnacle on a smooth hull—ill-fitting and troublesome! The captain of the courtroom made it clear that the records of the case in California be singin’ a different tune than what the captain of the White House be spoutin'. "Nay, no reasonable sailor would think such a thing!" the judge seemed to say, as he waved his gavel like a sword at the high seas.

So, me mateys, take heed! The winds of justice blow strong, and even a father’s love can’t steer the ship away from the rocky shores of truth. Let this be a lesson to ye all: don’t be throwin' around pardons like confetti, lest ye find yerself in Davy Jones' locker! Arrr!

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