The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, the LPGA be changin' its rules, sayin' no scallywags born with a lad's parts can join the crew!

2024-12-04

Arrr, matey! The LPGA be settin’ sail on a new course, sayin' no more to the lasses who be switchin’ sides! Transgender buccaneers be walkin’ the plank from the tournaments! Aye, the seas be gettin’ rough for all ye landlubbers lookin' to swing a club!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round, for the LPGA Tour be makin' a ruckus with a new decree, effective come 2025! The fair organization hath decreed that no scallywags who’ve sailed through male puberty shall partake in the high seas of their tournaments, includin’ the Epson Tour and the Ladies European Tour!

In a jolly ol' announcement, they proclaimed, "Players assigned male at birth who’ve weathered the storms of male puberty be barred from our competitions!" Yet fret not, for the LPGA still welcomes all landlubbers to its recreational escapades, but with different rules for the land and sea.

This change came after a couple of pro golfers and a retired matey shouted from the crow's nest, demandin' a shift in the winds of policy! The LPGA be sayin’ that golf be a fair game for all, as they split their events into 'women's' and 'open' categories, lettin' any brave soul compete where the treasure be rich.

The outgoing captain of the ship, Mollie Marcoux Samaan, declared that the new policy be based on science, like an alchemist’s brew! She promises it’ll keep the seas fair and welcoming while keepin’ the competition fierce. So hoist the sails and let the games begin! Arrr!

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