Arrr, Brian Thompson met Davy Jones’ locker by a Hilton cannonball, they say it be a targeted plunderin’!
2024-12-04
Arrr, mateys! The big cheese o' UnitedHealth’s treasure hoard, Brian Thompson, met a foul fate outside the Hilton. A scallywag in a mask fired upon ‘im like he was a target in a sailor's game! Now he be off to the hospital, clingin’ to life like a barnacle on a ship's hull!
Arrr mateys, gather 'round for a tale most foul from the bustling shores of Midtown! On a fine morn, as the sun peeked over the horizon, a scallywag named Brian Thompson, the grand captain of UnitedHealth’s treasure chest, found himself in a right pickle.‘Twas shortly after the clock struck six and forty minutes, when this landlubber made his way to the Hilton, all spruced up for a grand gathering. But lo and behold, lurking in the shadows was a masked knave, just waitin’ to unleash a volley of lead upon our dear Brian. Aye, it be a targeted attack, as the word from the constables be tellin’ us!
With a heart full of ambition and a chest full of dreams, poor Thompson took a bullet straight to the heart! He was whisked away, like a treasure chest snatched from the waves, to the Mt. Sinai Hospital, where the good folk be tryin’ to patch him up. The streets be echoing with our jests, but ‘tis no laughing matter when a captain’s life be caught in the crosshairs of some scurvy villain!
Let this be a lesson, me hearties: keep yer eyes peeled and yer swords sharp, for ye never know when the next ambush may strike!