The Booty Report

"Ahoy matey! Beware the FBI's digital kraken—tweak yer iPhone settings lest ye be caught in their nets!"

2024-12-05

Arrr, me hearties! In a twist fit for the high seas, the FBI and CISA be shoutin’ warnings to ye iPhone and Android scallywags! Encrypt yer messages or risk bein' spied on by the sneaky Salt Typhoon from the East! Aye, they've plundered yer secrets like a true buccaneer!

Avast, me hearties! In a most unexpected turn of the tides, the notorious FBI, in league with the CISA scallywags, be hollerin’ a warning to all ye iPhone and Android buccaneers! They be advisin’ ye to hoist yer encrypted sails for yer chatter and calls, lest ye be caught in the storm of a nefarious plot! Arrr, it seems a band of crafty rogues from the far-off shores of China, known as the Salt Typhoon, hath been wreakin’ havoc on the fair ships of the US telco fleet!

With a swashbucklin’ spirit, officials be declarin’ this to be a vast and dastardly campaign of cyber espionage, aim’n to plunder the secrets of the seven seas (or at least the local tavern gossip). A senior official from the FBI be sayin’ that though them black-hearted hackers hath pilfered a trove of records regarding who be talkin’ to whom, they’ve yet to uncover the treasure trove of juicy details! So, heed me advice, mateys! Encrypt yer messages, lock down yer calls, and keep yer secrets buried deep, lest ye find yerself walkin’ the plank of cyber mischief!

Read the Original Article