Arrr! Captain Biden be settin' his scallywag son free from the brig, sayin’ “No more bilge water fer ye!”
2024-12-05
Arrr, matey! Cap’n Biden be givin' his scallywag son Hunter a jolly pardon from the gallows o' federal law! Aye, ’tis a full and unconditional boot from the brig for misdeeds from 2014 to 2024! Just a year ago, he swore he’d keep the lad in chains!
Avast ye scallywags! Gather 'round, fer I be havin' a tale of a high seas pardon from President Biden, who hath granted a mighty reprieve to his wayward son, Hunter Biden! Aye, on a fateful Sunday, the captain of the ship o' state declared this pardon to be “full and unconditional,” settlin’ the matter of Hunter’s misdeeds from the year of our Lord 2014 to the twilight of 2024.