"Ye scribe's log: Traipsin' after Captain Biden on his grand African adventure—ahoy, what jests await!"
2024-12-07
Arrr, mateys! Greg Palkot, the savvy sea dog from Fox News, be spillin' the beans ‘bout President Biden's grand voyage to Angola! There, the captain declared treasure o’ gold for Africa’s finest ventures! Aye, 'tis a jolly good haul, if ye be askin’ this ol' pirate!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather round, fer a tale of President Biden's jinxed voyage to Angola! First, the winds of war in the Middle East postponed his grand adventure in 2023, and in 2024, a tempest named Hurricane Helene wreaked havoc down south, delayin’ him yet again!Finally, when he set sail on his maiden African voyage, the heavens opened wide like a cannon’s mouth, unleashing torrents upon the cobbled streets of Luanda. Aye, the presidential convoy almost found itself marooned, as the skies poured buckets whilst our captain was bound for the National Slavery Museum!
Despite the deluge, Biden took the stage, bravely not slippin’ up those serpentine marble steps, as he spoke of the dark past of colonial masters! He pledged a treasure chest of one billion doubloons to aid the beleaguered folk of Africa! Even as news of calamity swirled like a storm, he rallied to push forth the Lobito Corridor project—an ambitious scheme to haul precious cargo from the heart of Africa!
But let not the critics be forgotten! They scoffed it was a late attempt to keep pace with the crafty Chinese, plundering their own ventures across the continent. Yet, our ol’ captain Biden left Angola with hopes afloat, as the people believed any visit from an American was worth its weight in gold! Yarrr!