The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Mets be made a fool o' by the 'SNL' crew in a rib-ticklin' Juan Soto skit!

2024-12-08

Avast! As Juan Soto be sailin’ the treacherous seas o’ free agency, the merry crew o’ “Saturday Night Live” be havin’ a jolly laugh, throwin’ a cheeky jab at them scallywags known as the New York Mets! Arrr, let the banter flow like rum!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the infamous Juan Soto, a grand prize in this here MLB free agency hullabaloo! The whole ocean o' baseball has been buzzin' with talk, especially with the Yankees and Mets battlin’ like scallywags over this prized catch. Even the merry crew of "Saturday Night Live" decided to throw their jests into the fray!

In a hilarious skit, Dana Carvey donned the garb of the "Church Lady," grillin' Soto—played by the lively Marcello Hernandez—about his choices. In a twist of fate, our Soto, wearin' a question mark shirt and a Celsius hat, pondered whether the Yankees might give him the best treasure chest o' gold.

But, lo and behold! The Church Lady tossed a cheeky barb the Mets’ way, suggestin' he spend his doubloons helpin' the needy instead. To which our Soto jested, "Maybe I’ll sign with the Mets!" causing the crowd to erupt like cannon fire!

With offers flyin' higher than a ship in full sail—up to $730 million!—the poor Church Lady lamented, “Money is the root of all evil!” And our Soto, ever the jester, quipped, “Then I shall be the most villainous ballplayer in the seven seas!”

So hoist the sails, for the race to land our Soto is on, with the Dodgers, Red Sox, and Blue Jays lurkin' in the shadows, eager to claim this treasure for their own!

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