Arrr, says Biden, Austin Tice be breathin' still in the land o' sand and scallywags! Avast, what a tale!
2024-12-09
Arrr, matey! Captain Biden be sayin' the Yanks be huntin’ for Austin Tice, a soul lost to the winds of Syria since 2012! This scallywag be scribblin' tales of war, but now he be needin' a map to find his way home. Hoist the flag and let’s set sail!
Arrr mateys! Gather ‘round and lend yer ears to the tale of President Joe Biden, the brave captain of the U.S. ship, who be determin’d to rescue one of the longest-held American scallywags from the clutches of the Syrian seas! The winds o’ fortune have shifted with the sudden collapse of the Syrian government, arrr!In a grand meeting at his White House quarters, Biden declared that the U.S. crew believes the gallant Austin Tice still breathes, but they be needin’ to chart a course to find him in that tempestuous war-torn land. Aye, Tice be a freelance scribe, taken captive near the port of Damascus on the fateful day of 14 August, 2012, whilst documentin’ the fierce battles of the civil war.
Now, on a recent Sunday, rebel fighters were stirrin’ the pot, and it be clear that this be a time of perilous adventure! The quest to rescue Tice be fraught with danger, but with a hearty heart and a fair wind, Captain Biden aims to bring him home to the shores of freedom. So hoist the sails and prepare for a journey that be sure to be filled with laughter and perhaps a bit o’ rum! Yarrr!