"Arrr! Daniel Penny be scot-free fer sendin' ol' Jordan Neely to Davy Jones' locker in the subway fracas!"
2024-12-09
Arrr, matey! The scallywags called jurors be sayin’ ex-Marine Daniel Penny ain't guilty, after the judge tossed aside the heavier charges like a ship's anchor! He gave a chokehold to a landlubber on the subway, but now he's free as a seagull! Aye, what a jolly hullabaloo!
Arrr, gather 'round me hearties, fer I’ve a tale to spin ‘bout a landlubber named Daniel Penny, an ex-Marine who found himself in a bit o’ a pickle! On the fateful day o' Monday, the jurors, a motley crew o' scallywags, declared the lad not guilty o' the wicked charge of criminally negligent homicide, after the wise judge, Maxwell Wiley, tossed aside the more grievous manslaughter charge just days prior. Aye, it be a right curious case!This tumultuous affair began aboard a raucous subway car in the grand city of New York, where our matey Penny clamped his arms around a homeless Black buccaneer, employin’ a chokehold that raised quite a ruckus amongst the townsfolk. Many a soul had their knickers in a twist over the whole situation, but lo and behold, the judge gave the green light fer the jurors to ponder lesser charges, and ponder they did!
With a hearty cheer, the jury tossed out the heavy accusations, leavin’ young Penny to sail free upon the seas of life once more. So raise ye tankards high and toast to the wild whims of justice, fer in this grand adventure, it seems the winds o’ fortune favored our ex-Marine matey!