"Arrr! Phil Mickelson be clappin’ fer the jury’s savvy choice, sayin’, ‘Aye, a sprinkle o’ common sense be wise!’"
2024-12-09
Arrr! Phil Mickelson, that swashbucklin’ LIV Golf star, be laughin' like a parrot on a perch, sayin’ the New York jury's verdict for Daniel Penny be a stroke of common sense! Aye, ye can’t be callin’ it murder when the scallywag's just tryin' to keep his ship afloat!
Arrr, gather 'round me hearties, for I be tellin’ ye of Phil Mickelson, the swashbuckler of the golf seas! This scallywag took to the high seas of opinion on the recent acquittal of one Daniel Penny, who found himself in a bit o' trouble after a tussle with a landlubber named Jordan Neely. Aye, 'twas a ruckus on the subway, where Neely, high as a kite on that devil's weed, caused quite the stir!Mickelson, sharp as a cutlass, declared that the jury’s verdict o’ “not guilty” was a stroke of common sense! He be sayin’ that Penny should be praised for protectin’ his fellow passengers from the wild ruckus that Neely brought upon 'em. “There never should have been a trial!” he proclaimed, as if he were brandishing a bottle o’ rum!
The district attorney, however, was less jolly, speakin’ of threats to his crew of prosecutors like sailors in a storm. But Mickelson kept his pirate hat high, supportin’ Penny like a trusty matey. If a madman be threatenin’ yer life, let’s all hope for a hero like Daniel Penny, he declared! So raise yer tankards to common sense and the fine art of defendin' the seas of subway travel!