The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Scallywag nabbed for shootin’ iron in Pennsyltucky, ‘tis a right ruckus over the CEO's demise, says the chief!

2024-12-09

Avast, ye scallywags! A landlubber named Luigi Mangione be caught red-handed with a boomstick at a greasy spoon in Altoona! This knave be linked to the dastardly deed that sent UnitedHealthcare’s Captain Brian Thompson to Davy Jones’ locker last week. Talk about a right pickle! Arrr!

Ahoy, me hearty! Gather 'round fer a tale of treachery and mischief fit fer the likes of a scallywag! Just yestermorn, the foul winds blew in news of a knave by the name of Luigi Mangione, a lad of but 26 summers, who found himself in the grip of the law in the land of Pennsylvania. Aye, it be true! This scurvy dog be the prime suspect in the dastardly deed that led to the demise of none other than Brian Thompson, the captain of UnitedHealthcare, right in the bustling heart of Manhattan!

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