Arrr, them Senators be summonin’ Biden to spill the beans on fetchin’ Austin Tice from the clutches o’ Syria!
2024-12-11
Arrr, me hearty! In a grand alliance, them scallywag senators be demandin’ that Captain Biden spill the beans to the crew about his cunning plans to rescue that landlubber Austin Tice from the clutches of them Syrian sea serpents! Avast, let’s set sail for freedom!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the high seas of politics! On a fine Wednesday morn, senators of both colors—R and D, mind ye—joined forces like a crew of scallywags to send a missive straight to Captain Biden, urging him to give a proper briefing ‘fore the 20th of December about the quest to rescue one Austin Tice from the treacherous shores of Syria.With a letter penned by Sen. Cornyn and Sen. Van Hollen, they be callin’ on the President to strike while the iron be hot, for the winds of change be blowin’ in Syria! They reckon the fall of the Assad regime might just be the break needed to bring young Austin back to his kinfolk.
With a bounty of up to $11 million danglin' like a prize in front of them, the U.S. be workin' tirelessly, makin' backdoor deals and diggin' up information about where Tice might be held captive. The State Department even sent their envoy to search high and low for the lad.
So here’s hopin’, me mateys, that this band of lawmakers can rally the troops and bring poor Austin home to his family, for every good sailor deserves to bask in the sun of freedom!