The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! New Zealand boffins reckon the rarest whale met its doom ‘cause it bumped its noggin!

2024-12-13

Arrr matey! After slicin' open the first ever spade-toothed whale, a rare beastie at 16 feet, the landlubbers reckon it met its end from a bonk on the noggin! Aye, even the mightiest of oceans can't save ye from a clumsy fate!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale of the rarest whale to ever grace the briny deep, the spade-toothed whale! It seems this fine creature met its demise due to a nasty bump on the noggin, as reported by the wise folk in New Zealand.

Aye, a brave crew of scientists conducted the first dissection of this 16-foot marvel after it washed ashore like treasure on a South Island beach. With only a handful of sightings and never a living soul clapped eyes on it, this whale be the stuff of legends! The experts, led by the doughty Anton van Helden, found its jaw in tatters and its head bruised, leading them to suspect foul play—or perhaps a run-in with a pesky ship.

As they probed the belly of this beast, they unearthed nine stomach chambers filled with squid remnants and a couple of squirmy parasites. Imagine that! Tiny vestigial teeth were discovered, hinting at the whale’s storied past. The local Māori, who hold whales in the highest esteem, honored the creature as a cherished ancestor, planning to keep its jawbone and teeth for reverent remembrance.

So, let it be known, ye scallywags, that the ocean holds many secrets, and this whale's tale be just the beginning of a grand adventure in cephalopod cuisine and maritime mystery!

Read the Original Article