Arrr, a Ukrainian matey claims the spoils, as a Russian landlubber goes boom in Moscow! Avast, what a jest!
2024-12-17
Arrr, matey! A high-ranking scallywag from the Ukrainian Security Services be claimin' they sent a right explosive message to Lt. Gen. Igor Kirillov, the Russian captain of all things smelly and toxic! Boom, bang, and a hearty laugh in Moscow on Tuesday! Avast, the tides be turnin'!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round, for a tale of treachery and explosions upon the high seas of Moscow! A Ukrainian scallywag hath claimed the glory for sendin' Lt. Gen. Igor Kirillov, the commander o' Russia's foul chemical forces, to Davy Jones' locker, along with his matey in an explosion most dastardly!Ye see, the Russian Investigative Committee be a-scratchin’ their noggins, claimin’ that a sneaky bomb was planted on a scooter, detonated from afar! It happened right after those crafty Ukrainians charged the general with the most heinous of crimes—using banned weapons on the battlefield! Aye, the bomb was said to pack a walopin’ punch, equal to 300 grams of TNT—enough to make Neptune himself tremble!
Now, the SBU, those clever Ukrainian buccaneers, hath declared that Kirillov was a “war criminal” and a fine target for their cannon fire. They be claimin’ over 4,800 uses of chemical weaponry by Russia since the scallywags began their land grab in February o' 2022.
So, as the Russian folks be investigatin’ this attack they call terrorism, let us raise a tankard to the merry chaos unfoldin’ upon the seas of war! Yarrr!