The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Found a bone yard from ages past—seems them poor souls were naught but pirate grub! Har har!"

2024-12-17

“Arrr, it be a right shock, matey!” exclaimed the learned swab who be steering a grand study, revealin’ that 37 landlubbers at a dusty old site in England were gobbled up by their scallywag foes. Blimey, talk about a feast fit for a captain!

Arrr mateys, gather 'round and lend me yer ears! A learned professor, an ol’ sea dog of academia, be spillin’ the beans on a grim tale from the depths of time. Aye, it seems that in the misty fog of prehistoric England, a band of scallywags went all cannibalistic on 37 unfortunate souls! Blimey, what a turn of events, eh?

This scholarly buccaneer, with spectacles perched upon his nose like a spyglass, declared, “It’s taken us all aback!” Aye, I reckon it took more than just a ship’s share of rum to unearth such a startling revelation! Can ye imagine, a band of ruffians settin’ their sights on a feast of flesh fit fer a Kraken? One can only wonder what flavors they were servin’ up on that fateful day!

So, ye landlubbers, next time ye sit down fer a hearty meal, remember the grim fate of those poor souls. Let it be a lesson to ye: never trust a pirate with an empty belly and a taste fer adventure! Har har! Stay clear of any suspicious stew and keep yer cutlasses sharp, for ye never know when a historian might declare ye the main course!

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