The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Aaron Rodgers be sayin’ JFK's untimely sendin’ to Davy Jones got him all a’stirred 'bout politics, matey!

2024-12-17

Arrr, matey! The famed Aaron Rodgers, a swashbucklin' Jet, did spill his secrets to Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.! He claims his uncle’s untimely send-off got his sea legs in politics. Such tales be spun in yon tome "Enigma." Aye, what a yarn!

Arrr matey! Gather ’round as I regale ye with the tale of one Aaron Rodgers, the swashbucklin’ quarterback of the New York Jets, who be dabblin’ in the murky waters o’ politics! In the second chapter of his Netflix yarn, "Enigma," ol’ Rodgers be ponderin’ the notion of joinin’ forces with the scallywag Robert F. Kennedy Jr. to sail the choppy seas of presidential candidacy.

But alas! That plan fell quicker than a ship’s mast in a tempest when Kennedy decided to drop anchor with Donald Trump instead. During a hike, Rodgers spilt the beans about how the assassination of John F. Kennedy in ’63 hoisted his sails toward the political horizon. He spoke of the horrors he uncovered in the Warren Commission’s report, declar'in, “This can’t be real!”

With a heart heavier than a treasure chest, he lamented the treacherous two-party system, claimin’ it be one party ruled by those with the doubloons. Though Kennedy offered him the chance to trade his cleats for a political career, our hero chose to keep throwin’ the pigskin, sayin’, “I love football!” Aye, he’s got unfinished business in New Jersey, and he don’t take kindly to misrepresentation, which be a trigger that stirs the sea within him.

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