Arrr! Congress be droppin' a treasure map to save the ship from scallywag shutdown, tossin' over $100B for calamity booty!
2024-12-17
Arrr! The scallywags of the House and Senate be hatched a wee truce, settin' sail with a quick-fix treasure map to keep the ship afloat and delay the grand brawl over gold until next year! No need fer a partial shipwreck this Friday, matey!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' Congress, where the scallywags be unveil’n a plan to stave off a partial government shutin' by this Friday’s deadline. Those House Republicans be throwin’ down a hefty tome—1,547 pages long—like a treasure map to extend the fiscal seas of 2024! Aye, it be the second time they’ve hoisted the anchor on such a resolution since the fiscal year ended in September.This bill be extendin’ the budget till March 14 and tossin’ in over $100 billion for disaster relief fer storms that wreaked havoc in the Southeast, along with some doubloons for our farmer mates. But beware, savvy sailors! This legislation be burdened with health care provisions to bamboozle them Pharmacy Benefit Managers, and it aims to revive the RFK Stadium, makin’ it a fine spot fer rum and revelry!
Yet, as the clock ticks, tensions rise. Hardline GOP crew be grumblin’ about unwelcomed policy riders bein’ snuck aboard like stowaways in a ship’s hold. They be hollerin’ at the Speaker for bringin’ forth a massive bill no one’s had a chance to read. And with Trump’s allies pushin' fer a longer extension, it be lookin’ like the seas be stormy ahead! Will the bill reach the President by midnight, or shall we face the dreaded shutdown? Only time will tell, me hearties!