The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Janis Timma, once a hoopin' lad, has shuffled off this mortal coil at the ripe age of 32!

2024-12-18

Arrr, news from the high seas! Young Janis Timma, a lad once dreamin' of slam dunks, has taken a dive into Davy Jones' locker in Russia. The Orlando Magic be weepin' like scallywags for their lost matey. A tragic tale, indeed, me hearties!

Arrr, gather 'round me hearties, for I be sharin’ a tale of a brave lad from Latvia, Janis Timma, a swashbucklin’ basketball star! Alas, this fine fellow, aged a mere 32, met his untimely end in Moscow, havin’ succumbed to the dark depths of despair. Aye, it be a tragic tale indeed!

Timma danced with the Orlando Magic in the Summer League, flashin’ his skills though he never set sail on the high seas of the regular NBA season. He traversed lands far and wide, playin’ in Latvia, Russia, Greece, and more—like a true buccaneer of the court! The Magic mourned him, sendin’ their condolences to his kin, and Olympiacos, his former crew, remembered him for his kind heart and cheerful spirit.

But alas, his ex-wife, Anna, be beggin’ the world to keep their wee child shielded from the storm of gossip and sorrow. “Keep yer tongues at bay!” she cries, “For the hell I’ve endured be too fierce for a young'un’s ears!” Aye, let us raise a tankard in honor of Janis Timma, a soul lost too soon but remembered for the joy he brought to the game. May he find peace in Davy Jones' locker! Arrr!

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