Arrr, Putin be swearin' to parley with Assad fer aid in trackin' down young Austin, bless his mum's heart!
2024-12-19
Arrr, matey! Captain Putin be swearin' to summon the ghost of Assad, seekin' secrets 'bout that landlubber journalist Austin Tice, who’s been on the wrong side of the plank fer 12 long years! Aye, what a merry jest on the high seas of diplomacy!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of high seas and high hopes! It be about the cunning czar of Russia, Vladimir Putin, who be makin' promises to seek aid from a scallywag named Assad, once the big cheese of Syria. Aye, this comes after the heart-wrenchin' plea from a mother lookin' for her lost lad, Austin Tice, a brave journalist who vanished into the mists of time—12 long years ago! Now, Putin claims he’ll have a chinwag with Assad, but me thinks he be a bit skeptical, wonderin' if the former ruler even remembers the lad who went missin' amidst the chaos of battle. "What can the ol’ sea dog do?" he mused, shrugging as if it were just another tale of sunken treasure. Debra Tice, the desperate mother, penned a heartfelt letter, hopin’ those Kremlin connections might sway the winds in her favor. She'd travel to Moscow or the depths of Davy Jones' locker if it meant findin' her precious son. Meanwhile, the State Department be throwin' a bounty of $10 million, lookin’ for any scrap of news about Austin’s fate. So raise yer tankards, me hearties! Here’s hopin’ the winds of fortune blow in favor of this brave soul and his weary kin! Yarrr!