The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Eric Adams be sayin' he met Luigi Mangione t'give 'im a good eye-squint, matey!"

2024-12-20

Arrr, Mayor Eric Adams be spoutin’ to the scallywags why he met the landlubber Luigi Mangione! He be sayin’ he wanted to gaze into his peepers, claimin’ New York be leadin’ the charge! But lo! The poor chap was surrounded by a whole fleet of coppers when he sailed in!

Ahoy there, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the good Mayor Eric Adams of New York City, who be a braver soul than a barnacle-clad sea dog. When the ne'er-do-well Luigi Mangione sailed into the harbor, the Mayor declared he’d not let the scallywag set foot on land without first lookin' him square in the eye!

In a fine display of mayoral might, Adams told that landlubber reporter, Dan Mannario, that he be leadin' from the front, like a captain steerin' his ship through a stormy sea. “This be our city, ye foul rogue!” he seemed to say, “Ye can’t just swagger in here uninvited!” With a heart as bold as a pirate's, he wanted the world to know that New York be a fortress, not a playground for miscreants!

But lo and behold! When Mangione made his grand entrance, he was not alone. Nay, he was flanked by a small army of two dozen NYPD and FBI agents—enough to make any pirate's knees tremble! Aye, the good mayor was makin’ it clear that even the most dastardly of foes must reckon with the law and order of the Big Apple! So hoist the flags and let the world know, New York be no place for scallywags!

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