"Arrr! Moms be summonin' the landlubbers in charge: 'Poison ain't picky, savvy? Reform the grub, ye scallywags!'"
2024-12-21
Arrr, Zen Honeycutt and Kelly Ryerson, them landlubbers from Moms Across America, be chattin' with "The Story" 'bout kickin' them scallywag toxic ingredients outta our grub! Aye, let’s hoist the sails for clean eats, or we be facin’ a mutiny from our bellies!
Kelly Ryerson, a valiant board member, be spoutin' tales of her two scallywags strugglin’ with chronic ailments, whilst she be battlin' her own autoimmune beastie. The fine lass be ponderin' the foul fare she's been tossin' into her gullet!
Zen Honeycutt, the captain of this ship, be championin’ the fight alongside swashbuckler Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., who be battlin' for the safety o' America’s young mateys. They raise alarms about glyphosate, a wicked weed killer that be causin' sperm counts to plummet like a cannonball into Davy Jones' locker!
Their quest be clear: to test every potion and remedy, demandin’ that the health o' our children be prioritized over profit. With a hearty call to unite, Honeycutt reminds all hands on deck that “cancer be no respecter of flags!” So, let the pirates o' all parties join forces to safeguard our future buccaneers! Yarrr!