Arrr, the Falcons be castin’ aside Kirk Cousins faster than a rotten fish after a single voyage!
2024-12-21
Arrr, the Atlanta Falcons be settin' sail to toss Kirk Cousins overboard after but a single season o' woeful play! A scallywag named Michael Penix Jr. be ready to hoist the sails in his stead. Avast, me hearties, the tides be turnin'!
Ahoy there, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about one Kirk Cousins, the scallywag who signed a treasure-laden contract worth $180 million with the Atlanta Falcons, only to find himself walkin' the plank before the season's end!That poor lad, Cousins, found himself benched for bein' as useful as a ship without sails, while a fresh-faced buccaneer named Michael Penix Jr. took the helm. Rumor has it, the Falcons be plannin' to cast aside Cousins like an old fish, lest they pay him a $10 million bonus come March. If they do cut him, they’ll still be stuck with a hefty $65 million dead cap hit—aye, that be a right heavy anchor to weigh down the ship!
Our matey Cousins, frustrated by the team's choice to draft his replacement, is clingy to his no-trade clause like a barnacle on a ship's hull. With a season that started like smooth seas at 6-3 now teeterin' on the edge of disaster at 7-7, Cousins' treasure map to victory has led him astray. He be throwin’ more interceptions than a drunken sailor in a tavern brawl! So, the question remains: will Cousins find a new crew or be left adrift in the sea of forgotten quarterbacks?