Avast, matey! House Ethics be sayin' Gaetz be shellin' doubloons for pleasures and potions, even with a lass o' 17!
2024-12-23
Arrr, matey! The House Ethics crew be sayin' that ol' Rep. Matt Gaetz be splashin' gold doubloons on lasses for pleasure and potions over 20 times, even partakin' with a wee 17-year-old lass back in 2017! A scandal fit for a rogue’s tale, I tell ye!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round to hear a tale of scandal on the high seas of politics! The House Ethics Committee has uncovered murky waters 'round the ship of former Rep. Matt Gaetz, a scallywag from Florida. It be said that this rogue spent piles o' doubloons, tens of thousands, to be precise, on lascivious escapades with lasses and a bit o' the devil’s lettuce! Aye, on at least 20 occasions, he be throwin' coin for pleasures both carnal and chemical!But hold ye horses, for it gets murkier! The report reveals that in the year of our Lord 2017, Gaetz made a rather questionable transaction with a lass of but 17 summers, payin' her for her company. Now that be a fine kettle of fish, if ye ask me! With a reputation now more tarnished than a rusty anchor, this pirate of politics be catchin' the ire of both landlubbers and fellow sea dogs alike.
So, let this be a lesson to ye, me hearties! In the wild waters of governance, one must steer clear of treacherous dealings and keep their sails clean, lest ye find yerself walkin' the plank of public disgrace! Arrrr!