"Garland avast! He swears on his parrot he did not scuttle the Hunter Biden case, mateys!"
2023-06-23
Arrr! The Attorney General, Merrick Garland, hath denied the scurrilous accusations of a sniveling whistleblower. Nay, the Justice Department did not meddle in U.S. Attorney David Weiss' hunt for Hunter Biden's booty. Savvy?
Arr, me hearties, the U.S. Attorney General, Merrick Garland, has spoken out against allegations that the Justice Department, FBI, and IRS interfered with the investigation of Hunter Biden by U.S. Attorney David Weiss. Garland denied these rumors in a strong and confident tone. He reminded everyone that Weiss, who was appointed by President Trump, had the authority to continue with the investigation and make any decisions regarding prosecution.Garland went on to say that he was not aware of any possible blockages that might prevent Weiss from bringing a prosecution against Hunter Biden. The U.S. Attorney General expressed his surprise at how anyone could have stopped Weiss, given the extent of his authority. He also mentioned that Weiss had confirmed his powers in a letter to the House Judiciary Committee.
Ye be warned, me mateys, that this is a developing story, and we shall keep ye informed as new information arises. Until then, let us raise a glass to the bravery and integrity of our U.S. Attorney General, who has refused to let any rumormongers spread false allegations about our justice system. May the seas of justice always remain calm and fair, and may we all sail smoothly towards the truth. Arr!