The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! The White House be spottin' signs that a Russian cannonball sent that airship to Davy Jones' locker!

2024-12-28

Arrr, me hearties! The White House be sayin' that that poor Azeri bird what sank on Christmas was scuttled by them Russian scallywags! Ol' John Kirby be spoutin' about hints and whispers, but he ain't showin' his hand! Talk about a right merry mess, eh?

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round, for I’ve a tale to spin, straight from the high seas of news! It be told that a fine vessel of the skies, the Azerbaijan Airlines flight, met a most unfortunate fate on the jolly ol' day of Christmas, crash-landing in the wilds of Kazakhstan, like a clumsy sailor trippin' over his own peg leg!

Now, the sharp-eyed scallywags at the White House be whisperin’ rumors that this be no mere accident! Nay, me mateys! They reckon that the crafty folk of Russia might’ve had a hand in the downing of this fine flying contraption, like a pirate takin' down a merchant ship! That rascal John Kirby, a spokesman for the National Security Council, be spillin’ the beans, sayin’ they’ve got clues sharper than a cutlass, hintin' at Russian air defense systems givin' the jet a rude welcome to Davy Jones’ locker!

But what be these clues, ye ask? Aye, Kirby kept 'em close to his chest like a treasure map, leavin’ us wonderin’ with our sea legs all a-wobble! So, keep yer spyglasses polished, for this be a tale yet to unfold, and mayhaps the truth be as slippery as a fish in a barrel!

Read the Original Article