The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Hanna be singin' sweet praises fer her matey Carson, as he sets sail fer the NFL seas!

2024-12-29

Arrr, Hanna Cavinder, that swashbucklin' guard of the Miami Hurricanes and queen o' the social seas, tipped her tricorn to her matey, Carson Beck, the Georgia cannon, fer settin' sail fer the 2025 NFL Draft! Aye, may he find treasure in the land o' pro football!

Arrr mateys! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with the tale of young Carson Beck, the gallant quarterback of the Georgia Bulldogs, who hath set sail fer the treacherous seas of the 2025 NFL Draft! Aye, his fair maiden, Hanna Cavinder, a swashbucklin’ star of the Miami Hurricanes basketball crew, be prouder than a parrot on a pirate's shoulder, celebratin’ on the Instagram seas with a simple, “Proud of ye!”

But lo! The winds be not in his favor, fer Carson be needin’ surgery to mend his injured elbow after a fierce battle against them Texas Longhorns. Despite this misfortune, he dreams of three glitterin’ titles before he departs from the college waters. Meanwhile, his trusty backup, Gunner Stockton, be ready to take the helm for the rest of the voyage!

Carson, at the tender age of 22, hath amassed quite the treasure chest of stats, with 3,485 yards and 28 touchdowns to his name. But the question lingers, will his stock rise in the draft or will it sink like a ship in a storm? And what of Hanna, ye ask? She be keepin’ her own ship afloat with her twin sister, who’s already courted by a Dallas Cowboys star! So hoist the sails, me hearties, for this be a tale of love and ambition upon the high seas of sports! Arrr!

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