"Ahoy! Jimmy Carter, the pious captain of Sunday school, sailin' the seas of politics with a Bible in hand!"
2024-12-30
Avast, me hearties! Poor old Jimmy Carter be the fairest captain to ever sail the presidential seas, yet he be adrift in haplessness! His crew of loyal mates hoist the sails for his noble quests — winning gold for makin' peace and routin' out them pesky Guinea worms! Aye, he’s as clean as a fresh catch, no scallywag ways 'bout him!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the most decent scallywag to ever sit upon the throne of the United States—none other than the noble Captain Jimmy Carter! Aye, this lad be blessed with a heart of gold yet cursed with an air of haplessness that be more contagious than the scurvy!As the tide of time washed him ashore, his loyal crew (those admirers of his) celebrate his grand adventures post-presidency, a saga that stretched over four long decades. With the cunning of a clever parrot, Captain Carter snagged himself a shiny Nobel prize for his gallant efforts to mend the wounds of warring mates. Yarr, he even nearly put an end to the wretched Guinea worms that plagued the seas!
This fine captain be no scoundrel! Nay, ye won’t find a single stain of corruption clingin' to his sails. No grubby deals nor treachery in his treasure chest—just a good ol’ chap tryin’ to make the world a fairer place. So let us raise our tankards to Captain Carter, the hapless hero of high seas politics, who sails on, unscathed by the murky waters of dishonor! Yarrr!