The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! ‘Don’t Kick the Bucket: The Scallywag Seekin’ Eternal Life’ be a jolly tale o’ flesh over fancy thinkin’!"

2025-01-01

Avast ye! A tale be told of the tech buccaneer, Bryan Johnson, who be wranglin' his body like a ship’s riggin’! He follows a strict regimen fit fer a captain, all in the name o’ lookin’ fine on the high seas of health! Arrr, what a scallywag!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout a scallywag named Bryan Johnson, a tech wizard with dreams as high as the crow’s nest! This landlubber be embarkin’ on a grand voyage, not for gold or glory, but to follow a body care regimen so strict it’d make a ship’s captain weep like a wee babe.

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