"Arrr! Putin swears he'll protect Mother Russia from the likes of those scurrvy dogs led by the mercenary captain. They'll pay the price!"
2023-06-24
Arrr mateys! The Russki cap'n, Vladimir Putin be swearin' upon the Jolly Roger to punish all them scurvy dogs involved in the "armed rebellion". He be also callin' out that land lubber Yevgeny Prigozhin for his treacherous call to action. Walk the plank, ye traitor!
Avast ye landlubbers! The Russian President, Vladimir Putin, be warning of a mutiny from the likes of Wagner Group chief, Yevgeny Prigozhin! He be calling it treasonous and a threat to statehood! Putin be vowing tough actions in response to this criminal adventure and armed mutiny, and be warning those involved to stop participating in such acts. He be saying that participating in such acts would be a fatal and tragic mistake, and the only right choice is to not get involved. Prigozhin, however, be denying Putin's accusations of treason and be saying that they are patriots of their homeland! He be saying that they do not want the country to live in corruption, deceit, and bureaucracy! This be happening during Russia's war on Ukraine, and Putin be claiming that Russia be fighting the toughest battle for its future! He be saying that the entire military, economic, and information machine of the West be waged against them! Prigozhin be accusing Russian Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu of launching a deadly attack on his private militia, which be fighting in Ukraine on behalf of Russia. Putin be saying that those who plotted and organized an armed rebellion and raised arms against his comrades-in-arms betrayed Russia, and they will answer for it! This be not a military coup, but a march of justice, says Prigozhin, who be suggesting that Putin's rationale for invading Ukraine was based on lies concocted by the army's top brass. Arrr, that be a dangerous game to be playing!