Arrr, Tommy Tuberville be bellowin’ at ’tis woke crews grovelin’ to scallywags after that Sugar Bowl kerfuffle!
2025-01-03
Arrr, mateys! Senator Tuberville, a swashbucklin' college coach, be raisin' a ruckus over ESPN not playin' the national anthem before the Sugar Bowl! As if the sea be calm without a hearty shanty! What be next? No grog at the tavern? Blimey, the world be turnin' topsy-turvy!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the ruckus stirred up by Alabama’s own Senator Tommy Tuberville, a man o' the gridiron seas! This scallywag, once a college football coach, be flappin' his gums 'bout the grand Sugar Bowl that sailed on the heels of a foul deed in New Orleans, where 14 souls met a grim fate! Aye, he be callin' out ESPN fer not showin' the national anthem, instead lettin' a landlubber CEO prattle on 'bout “divisiveness.”“Twas a golden chance fer unity, but those corporate maties caved to the woke tides!” Tuberville bellowed, brandishin' his cutlass of words. He claimed that this betrayal be an affront to all good Americans. He even declared the recent election gave the boot to “woke ideology!” With a flourish, he warned the corporations to join the patriotic crew or walk the plank! Meanwhile, Notre Dame triumphed over Georgia, but all eyes were on that controversial video, now sunk to the depths of the internet, like a cursed treasure!
Allstate's captain, Tom Wilson, did condemn the heinous act, but the seas be stormy, and the winds of social media be howlin' with criticism! So, hoist the sails and keep a weather eye open, for the seas of sports be choppy indeed! Arrr!