Arrr, matey! The ship’s doctor be sayin’ label yer grog, lest ye end up with a cancerous parrot on yer shoulder!
2025-01-04
Arrr! Surgeon General Murthy be sayin’ Congress should slap warning labels on grog, lest ye end up with a face full o’ cancer! He’s claimin’ that swillin’ the devil’s brew can lead to a whole host o’ nasty ailments—mouth to liver and even the lasses' bosoms! Blimey!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer I bring tidin's from the landlubbers in Congress! It be none other than the Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, who be raisin' the Jolly Roger on the grog! This wise seafarer be advisin' that all ye scallywags best be slappin' labels on yer rum and ale, warnin' ye of the perils that lie within.Aye, in his grand report, he be drawin' a map ‘twixt drinkin' and seven treacherous foes—cancers of the mouth, throat, esophagus, and larynx, as well as that wretched liver and “colonel” cancer! And let’s not forget, the fair lasses be at risk of breast cancer too. Shiver me timbers, that’s a fine mess o’ trouble!
According to the good doctor, nearly one-hundred thousand souls in the U.S. be claimin' the grim reaper's favor yearly due to the bottle. So, me hearty crew, heed this advice and think twice 'fore ye raise yer tankard! For every swig might lead ye closer to Davy Jones’ locker than ye'd ever want to sail!
So hoist the sails, and let us laugh in the face of danger—just maybe with a wee less rum, eh?