Arrr, Sen. Tuberville be callin’ the Senate to parley over his treasure map, the Protectin’ of Lasses in Sportin’!
2025-01-08
Arrr, mateys! Senator Tuberville be hollerin’ that if the Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act don’t set sail, Title IX might be sent to Davy Jones’ locker! Aye, let’s hoist the flag for fair play lest we be swimmin’ with the fishes!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the grand spectacle o' college sports, a treasure in our fair land that unites scallywags from all walks o' life! For nigh on forty years, this ol’ sailor has sailed the seas of athletics, proud of the mighty tradition that sparks the spirit o' patriotism in our hearts.Now, let me regale ye about the wondrous Title IX, a decree that opened the floodgates for lasses to compete, claim their gold doubloons in scholarships, and learn the noble arts of teamwork and grit! For fifty years, it’s been a lifebuoy for many a fair maiden.
But alas! The Biden crew tried to scuttle this ship, proposing to let men sail into women’s territories, claimin’ it be "gender equity." Aye, they be out o’ touch with the landlubbers! But fear not, for with the wind at our backs from Trump’s last victory, we be rallying to protect the fair maidens’ rights through the Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act, savin’ our Title IX from the depths!
This here legislation be a sturdy ship, makin’ sure only those born under certain stars can compete in women’s leagues. So let’s raise a toast to the future of fair play and privacy, and may the tides of justice flow favorably for all lasses on the field! Arrr!