The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Jalen Hurts be bouncin' back from a bonk, set to sail fer playoff treasure!

2025-01-08

Arrr matey! Jalen Hurts be still trapped in the brig o' concussion protocol, but after missin' two battles, he be takin' a wee step toward rejoinin' the crew for the grand playoff voyage on Wednesday! Let’s hope he be steerin' clear of the cannonballs! Yarrr!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout them Philadelphia Eagles, who be dreamin' of liftin' the fabled Super Bowl treasure! But lo, a storm brewed when their captain, Jalen Hurts, took a mighty thump to the noggin, leavin' the faithful fans holdin' their breath like a fish outta water!

That bonnie lad missed the last two skirmishes of the season, restin’ while his crew still fought valiantly, though alas, the Eagles’ ship sailed on without him due to the dreaded concussion protocol. But hark! News as sweet as rum arrived: Hurts returned to the practice deck, flingin' the pigskin like a true buccaneer, even if he forgot his helmet!

With a record of 14-3, the Eagles be perched as the No. 2 seed, ready to face the Green Bay Packers, who be lookin' like a fierce crew after snatchin' victory from the jaws of the Cowboys last season. Though our Eagles won two battles without their fearless leader, they fell to the Commanders in the skirmish where he took his leave.

Fear not, for Hurts has a bit more time to shake off the cobwebs before the grand battle on Sunday! With a cannon arm hurlin' 2,903 yards and a record of 14 touchdowns, he be lookin' to commandeer his crew to glory! So raise a tankard, me mateys, and let’s cheer for our Eagles as they set sail for victory!

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