Arrr, JPMorgan be the latest scallywag to jump ship from the Net-Zero Banking Alliance, savvy?
2025-01-08
Ahoy, me hearties! On the seventh day of January, JPMorgan be castin' off from the Net-Zero Banking Alliance, joinin' the ranks of other scallywags under the pressure of landlubber politics. Now, the grand fleet of six mighty banks be sailin' in murky waters! Arrr!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with a tale from the landlubber's realm of finance! On the seventh day of January, in the year of our Lord twenty twenty-three, the scallywags at JPMorgan decided to hoist their sails and abandon the Net-Zero Banking Alliance, a mighty coalition of bankin' buccaneers pledged to protect our dear planet from the scurvy clutches of climate change!This here be the latest in a series of U.S. banks jumpin’ ship faster than a rat on a sinking vessel, all due to the increasing pressure from those political sea dogs back in the colonies. With JPMorgan's departure, the biggest six banks in this fair land—Goldman Sachs, Wells Fargo, Citi, Bank of America, and Morgan Stanley—be left adrift like a ship without a captain!
So, what be the lesson here, ye landlubbers? When the winds of politics change, even the mightiest of banks be quick to abandon their noble causes. It seems that saving the world ain't as profitable as plunderin' the treasure! Raise a tankard to the folly of it all and keep yer eyes peeled for more shenanigans from these financial swashbucklers!