The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Lebanon’s new captain be singin’ a proud tune, while Hezbollah’s ship be settin’ sail for Davy Jones' locker!

2025-01-10

Arrr, matey! After two long years o’ naught but squabblin’, the Lebanese scallywags in parliament finally hoisted a new captain! Joseph Aoun, the chief o’ the sea dogs, snagged the most doubloons in votes. Avast, let the rum flow, for we be sailin’ again!

Arrr, Lebanon’s new captain be singin’ a proud tune, while Hezbollah’s ship be settin’ sail for Davy Jones' locker!

Arrr matey! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' Lebanon's political seas, where a new captain, Joseph Aoun, has taken the helm as president, bucking the stormy tide of political deadlock for over two years! With a hearty 99 votes from the lot, he be the anti-Hezbollah scallywag, steering the ship from the shadowy depths of Shia influence.

Yet beware! The mighty Hezbollah be not sunk entirely, still clingin' to its power like barnacles on a ship's hull. They once battled fiercely against Aoun's rise but found themselves in a pickle, forced to accept him when the winds changed with Assad's ousting in Syria.

With Aoun now at the wheel, he be vowin' to reclaim Lebanon's sovereignty, speakin' of disarming all rascally groups and wrestin' control o' the state's forces. But remember, the president be a ship captain with limited power, while the prime minister holds the true compass!

Ahoy! Hezbollah be feelin' the pinch, as they’ve lost ground and are now isolated like a shipwrecked sailor. The U.S. and Israel be watchin' closely, hopin’ this election be a fine step away from Hezbollah's grip. Aoun's crew be ready to navigate these treacherous waters, seekin' aid from the likes of Saudi Arabia and the U.S. for a brighter horizon, or risk bein' swept away by the tides of turmoil!

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