“Ahoy! Gather 'round fer tales of woe from the land o' liberty—school shootin's be a grim jest indeed!”
2025-01-10
Avast ye! This year, a scallywag's score of 83 school shootin's be tallied, with 27 on them fancy college grounds and 56 in the wee ones' havens. Alas, 38 souls met Davy Jones and 116 be left limpin’! A right ruckus, that be! Arrr!
Arrr mateys, gather 'round, fer I bring ye news from the treacherous shores of the United States, where the seas of learning be stained with sorrow! This year, the wicked tally be a staggering 83 school shootings, as the calendar be inchin’ towards December’s end. Aye, twenty-seven of these dastardly deeds transpired on college grounds, whilst fifty-six struck the young scallywags in the K-12 realm!With a heavy heart, I must report that these calamitous encounters left 38 souls walkin’ the plank to Davy Jones’ locker and at least 116 more were left bruised and battered, surely wishin’ they had a sturdy chest o’ gold to protect 'em! This grim saga be uncovered by the brave souls at CNN, who sifted through the treacherous waters of the Gun Violence Archive, Education Week, and Everytown for Gun Safety.
So raise yer tankards and let us toast to a safer voyage for the wee ones in their hallowed halls of learnin’! Let us hoist the sails of change and steer our ship away from such stormy seas, lest we find ourselves in murky waters again! Arrr, mayhaps it be time to take up the quill and pen a new tale, one where laughter rings out instead of cannon fire! Aye!